How not to get your ass kicked by the traffic police (for Chennalites)

You could be stopped by the police for various offenses from tiny ones like stopping ahead of the stop line to serious ones like running over a sleeping person on the road(very much possible in Chennai). If you have only broken a traffic rule and not some other vehicle, then these set of tricks will most probably work.

1. You need not stop your vehicle unless forced to.

If it is a small offense like cutting a traffic signal and you only hear a shout or a whistle and if the traffic police is not close to you, you need not go out of your way to stop your vehicle. Keep going, that guy will be too lazy to book you. Even if he does, the procedure is not so complicated. Two-wheelers should immediately remove their keys. If only he takes your keys, you are doomed.

2. After you are forced to stop the vehicle, greet the policeman.

The goal of the policeman is to psyche you. He will often try to exaggerate the offense and try to hype the fine so that you end up succumbing to his pressure and pay him some 'mammul' instead of paying the fine.

So instead you greet him with a smile and you could even say 'vanakkam' or "Good Evening". Keep smiling and show that you are not worried at all.

3. Try to judge the situation and his power.

That guy could be a senior officer or he could be a weak constable. Judge his power and try to judge how much harm he can cause to you. If you feel you are in a better position then it would also be in some situations wise to argue it out. For example if he is not in uniform, then you could jump at him by saying "who are you? why are you stopping my car? How am I to know that you are a policeman?" and then you could just drive away. That will completely psyche him off.

4. If you have made a mistake accept it and ask him for the fine.

"Yes sir, I crossed the signal. I made a mistake. So I am supposed to pay the spot fine right. How much is it?". Traffic policemen don't want you to pay the fine. They want to make money. Initially make it sound to him that you would rather pay the fine than pay even Rs. 5 for his tea.

5. He will ask you for vehicle documents, simply to harass you.

Stress that you are willing to pay the fine and you don't see the reason why he is harassing you. You could say "Sir, I am in a hurry. Either give me a spot fine ticket or I am leaving. You can book me and I will pay later". With this he will accept his fate and realise the mistake he has made stopping you.

With these simple steps you could avoid harassment either by paying fine. If you are lucky you could also get go free.

P.S: Hey, I am not encouraging you guys to cut the signals. And I am not telling this because I care for the Chennai traffic, but because I, a clean driver, don't want to collide with you.